You are going to think I'm crazy, and perhaps I am, but I think I've hit a seven-week itch. Not with Jordan, please no - this guy keeps my heart giggling day in and day out! Rather, I've hit some sort of wall in my perspective of this journey. I'm ashamed it's come so early.
Jordan is a doctor-in-training. This reality makes me grin every time, it honestly does. I see him out the door as he heads for early classes and I greet him with dinner when he returns late after class. His schedule is pretty consistent week to week: class, group study, clinical, reading; it's this schedule that has become mine really. Without my own schedule, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to be motivated. Few teaching calls (...to be expected at the beginning of the year...); no responses from other job applications; and there's only so much cleaning you really want to do!
Perhaps my expectations are too high. I think this has always been my downfall. I could never be smart enough, or thin enough, or fit enough. I try too hard to make things fall into place in an unrealistic time. I expect/ed others to live up to their full potential - always working, always striving to be better. I expect myself to be more godly. It has damaged me in the past and it's damaging me now.
You see, the reality is, God IS working. But my narrow, present-focused perspective is blinding me from his work. In telling you how God has been working these past few weeks, I'm intentionally making myself to see that I'm cared for by God.
1. Relief Teaching
Three weeks ago, I received a letter from Education Queensland stating that I was approved to teach both primary and secondary sectors! My qualifications are for grades 4-10, but because the primary and secondary grades are organized slightly differently in Queensland, my letter states I can teach all grades. With the muchly needed letter in hand, I printed off pages of resumes and set out to share my supply teaching desire with 10 local schools.
One Tuesday, I walked for 5 hours - without a hat, what a poor mistake - from school to school introducing myself. As I was heading towards Indooroopilly State High School, I began to question whether it would even be worth it to drop off a resume. "After all, I'm only qualified to teach up to year 10," I thought. "Plus I look so young I will probably be mistaken as a student and not be respected as a teacher." I nearly turned around. |
| Many of the schools are quite colourful, which seems to create a completely different vibe within a school. |
Not only did that first relief teaching day go well, but I have been called back three times - each time covering new classes anywhere from year 8-12. Receiving the first call provided me with a light and hope - the doors are opening; and receiving the following calls have boosted my confidence.
One slight problem however ... since I am currently on a working holiday visa, I am only eligible to work with one employer for six months. Since I registered with Education Queensland in November/December already, I am only on their supply list til May... unless I can apply for a more permanent visa. Jordan and I were so convinced I had the occupation on Australia's skilled occupation list, but unfortunately, only Early Childhood Educators and Secondary School Teachers are. Can you believe that I'm 15 days short of practicum experience to apply as a secondary teacher?! Agh. In any case, in order for me to receive a permanent working visa, I need to be nominated or sponsored for a position. The unemployment rate in Australia, unfortunately, is at a 15 year high, and with the ability to hire locals and the increased legalities of sponsored visas, the opportunities are slim.
Nothing is impossible with God right?
2. North Shore Coaching College
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| The classroom where I teach Maths and Creative Writing to 12 Level 5 students. |
In the month of February, Impact has been focusing on its vision for 2014. As a church, we are believing this to be a year of optimism; particularly believing in Micah 7:7: "But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me."
I can't say this enough. I'm beyond thankful for the connection we have with Impact. Coming from a church of nearly 1000 visitors a Sunday to a uni-focused church of 50 people has been an adjustment. Larger churches typically have well-developed ministries - music, children, youth, small groups, etc - so it becomes simple to get connected. Small churches, however, are advantageous in that you are pulled out of your comfort zone; everyone needs to be involved in some form in order to have successful programs.
And this is why I'm thankful. Before leaving Canada, I remember on multiple occasions saying how awesome it would be to work in children's ministry...and now I am! The kid's ministry at Impact has been non-existent recently, and now I have the opportunity to help lead the re-boot of Kid's Zone.
So despite Impact's small size, it has great passion to reach others and a godly vision of growth for the year. I am proud of Impact and excited to be involved in this ministry.
4. Religious Education
Opposite of what the Ontario education system is pushing, the Australian government is promoting religious education in schools. Over the past couple of years, the amount of religious education classes in state schools are increasing, which means churches are needing to recruit more willing teachers.
Starting this past week, I am teaming up with a minister-in-training, to teach the message and stories of the Bible to Grade 2 students. Some of the students in my class at Ironside State School are also in my North Shore class on Saturdays, so it great to be able to teach them with a direct focus on Christ.
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So you know, God IS good. So good. With this truth, it is embarrassing to know that I have even slightly doubted God's leading. To be completely honest with you, this has been an emotional week for Jordan and I as we are faced with the reality of long-term debt. The biblical truths of TRUST and DEPENDENCE have become so much more real - so much more needed than ever before.
The story of Jesus calming the storm impacted me in a fresh way this week.
"As they sailed across, Jesus settled down for a nap. But soon a fierce storm came down on the lake. The boat was filling with water and they were in real danger. The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!" When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and the raging waves. Suddenly the storm stopped and all was calm. The he asked them, "Where is your faith?" - Luke 8:23-25
I read these verses with my negative perspective, and felt God asking me, "Jen, where is your faith?" Sure this is a tough season: finances are negative; income is nearly non-existent; a permanent visa seems impossible; but these issues - rather than God's promises - were completely controlling my attitude. As my wonderful mom reminded me, if God cares for the sparrow, how much more will he care for Jordan and I! He loves to provide and he will provide!
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On a lighter note, our lack of funds has led Jordan to find a new barber: ME! In all honesty, I'm shocked he is letting me, but it does mean a fresh, monthly do! I am proud to say the first attempt was surprisingly quite successful! It only took me an hour...
Prayer Requests:
1. Pray big! Pray that an opportunity would arise soon for a permanent visa so that I can increase my workload. But perhaps more importantly, I need prayer for complete dependence on God for provision.
2. Jordan has a few examinations coming up and we are praying for great results!
3. Pray that both the kid's ministry and religious education ministry would see kids come to the Lord. Kids have such a great influence on their siblings and parents when it comes to depending on God, so how amazing would it be to have 8 year olds live for God!
Thank you and love you all!
