Growing Pains

{ Inspired by my incredible friend, Ami, 

who loves Jesus and understands

the pain of being stretched by God, 

but also knows the wonderful growth is worth it }

It's been much too long since I've taken time to deliberately reflect on what the past few weeks and months have meant for me. This time - as I sit back, ponder, and write - I do so with a renewed perspective. The joy that is colloquially erupting from my heart and out from my eyes is truly remarkable. Just weeks ago, the stresses of transition were weighing me down, and I found it significantly more difficult to be selfless, to make time for others, and to spread joy naturally. But now, it's as if God took my heart and gave it a 180 spin.

It all started on a Sunday.

Citipointe @ PM: Excited to be in church

Jordan and I attended Citipointe's evening service with a few friends from Impact Ministries. Looking back, the ride there was most likely a lead-up to the transformation that followed. I honestly don't think I've had such fun in a car in years - we belted out praise songs and danced (as well as you can sitting in the back seat of a car) completely unashamed. At least I did, which is remarkable in itself for me. 

In church, the praise and worship continued. A few songs later, particularly after singing the lyric "You are all I need", I was struck with a thought that I couldn't erase. In that moment, I reflected on the past few months in Australia and all the things that were taking place; God was showing me that He is all I need, that He is truly enough. Singing it in worship doesn't make it true in your heart.

These months have grown me more than I could have ever imagined. How many times do we sing 'God is enough' or 'Bless the Lord at all times' and think we mean it? But then when times get tough, it's like all those words and truths are non-existent. 

Like Hillsong, Citipointe Church creates their own music which the Holy Spirit uses to speak to the church at that particular time. This particular Sunday, we sang a new song in which part of lyrics include:

Strip away all my pride, my possessions

Til all I want and all I seek is your presence

I sang it the first time like it was any other song. Many people - including myself - had their hands raised, belting out in 'worship'. But the second time these lyrics appeared, I was struck by the reality of their meaning. I stopped singing, dropped my hands, and just stared at the words. When they sunk in, I couldn't help but sit down. How many people can honestly sing out to God for Him to strip them of all their pride and all of their possessions? Everything? And mean it?! 

I know I have more possessions that most people in the world, even though I often don't think so as I compare myself to the rest of the top 5% of the world. At first I couldn't realize why I felt so discouraged when Jordan and I first got here, but my mom helped me realize that this is the first time in 10 years - since I was 13 basically - that I have not had a job. I felt unproductive and useless. And then with debt increasing by the day, and not being able to buy anything expect for the nutritional necessities, my pride began to fall. I felt like a nobody. And I didn't know anybody. 

But then, sitting on the pew in church, lost in the words that I just sung, I went from a place of 'this is so tough' to 'this is so good'. In stripping away much of my pride and my possessions, an abundance of true joy has filled my heart. The easy-to-say Christian cliche that God is enough, that God is good become so real and ever so true. 

God IS enough. God IS good. 

While staying back home with guaranteed income would be the 'safe' route, the decision to move to Australia has proven to be the best route already within the first three months. Who knows what our future will look like financially... undoubtedly, it will be quite rough for quite some time; but financial wealth, or the lack of it, fades. I've gained a spiritual insight, a deepened relationship with God, and an irreplaceable joy that will never be taken away. 

The Call

The following morning, I received a call from Indooroopilly State High asking me to teach for the day. It's slightly unusual covering for a teacher on a Monday, so I was more than happy to take up the offer. Little did I know, the good news had only just begun.

Monday: 

Coming home from teaching, I received a call from the deputy principal asking me if I wanted a temporary contract position. The contract would be covering a history teacher for 8 days. Please and thank you!

I'm not sure if there is a connection between the realization I had on Sunday and God providing a contract the following day. Maybe, maybe not. But I do know that God provides! All the teachers I have been talking with during my supply days are often quite shocked to learn that I have been coming in once or twice a week. I personally didn't consider one or two days a week much of a blessing at first, but after seeing and hearing their reactions, I know that God is seriously working here on my behalf.

Wednesday:

The administration and tech staff set me up with an email, computer, and teacher ID. These things make me feel like a legitimate teacher now...also helps to identify me NOT as a student. 

Thursday: 

The deputy principal asked me to see him in his office after school. Whether a student or teacher, this is equally nerve-wracking! I wasn't sure if he wanted to discuss poor performance or to learn more about my qualifications, but I need not be so worried. Two days into my contract and he suggests a contract extension!! 13 days of guaranteed teaching is like a dream come true.

Friday:

Once again, I was requested to the principal's office. "Jennifer, you are going on a leave of absence", was the first thing he said. Say what? The DP explained that my contract was extended over the two-week term holiday, meaning I would receive some form of holiday pay. Full-time teaching staff were required to complete professional development days during the break, but since I am not full-time - just covering a full-time teacher - I would not be attending these events and therefore could not receive pay for them. Hence the leave of absence. Makes sense.

The deputy principal went on to say that Education officers contacted him to inform him that extending my contract over the break was not a financially-wise move. It would cost Education Queensland more money this way rather than retaining the 8-day contract and calling me for supply after the break. "Are you sure you want to do this?" they asked him. "Only do it if you think there will be benefit in the future." The DP replied, "I am sure. We are considering Jennifer for future contracts."

These words are music to my ears! Just as Jordan and I were growing concerned of how we could pay  the bills knowing there was no chance of work during the two-week school holiday, God answered our prayers by not only providing me with a contract, but an extension and a hope for future work at Indooroopilly. And to think that I wasn't even going to drop off my resume here..

There's a lot of questions I still have about how this is going to all work out - in terms of visa status that is - but I've been shown over and over that I may not know the how, but I know the who!! 

Celebrating the end of exams: dinner at Sizzler's 
shouted by Mom and Dad Lobbezoo. Blessed. 

As of now, I'm in the second week of the holiday, so next week I will wrap up the final three days of my contract. Then I shall see what workings God has in store for me.

Right now though, Jordan is enjoying his first of two weeks off school. We are certainly happy to have this week off together as it's been a while since we've had the chance to do things together - especially with his intense studying the past three weeks. Exams are over! 

This weekend, we are heading to EasterFest, the biggest Christian music festival in the Southern Hemisphere, with a few others from Impact. To be involved in a more significant way - and to make the weekend a bit more affordable - Jordan and I will be volunteering as part-time crew. I will be helping run KidsWorld, a pirate-themed kids' program, and Jordan will be putting his new medical skills to the test in the First-Aid department. Looking forward to be blessed and blessing others this Easter weekend!

Some Highlights of the Month:

Baseball is back!! Started the season early with 
an opener in Sydney. 

Friends took us to the Pancake House,
a delicious restaurant in an old church.
In my opinion, a must-go-to for future 
visitors.

Saturday morning markets in West End. The ultimate 
way to spend sunny summer mornings.

With the week off, I decided to attend 
a few lectures with Jordan.
Topic of the day: Urinary Tract Infections

First UQ rugby game of the season: Med vs Law.
Long-time rivals. A violent game indeed!

Jesus Culture in Brisbane! A poorly organized event, 
but understandably so as it was FREE and the church 
only had three weeks to prepare. Regardless of being 
stuck in a corner, it was amazing to still get in and 
participate in the worship. Kim Walker is legit.

Post-Jesus Culture eats. Thankful for these friends.

Brisbane CDB by night. I'm not much of a city 
person, but these views are beautiful!

Brisbane continually offers cultural events and 
festivals. Not sure which one is coming up, but I do 
love the Australasian connections in this city. 

Points for Praise:

• Teaching contract - praise God for his continual provision
• Exam season - Jordan has successfully finished his first set of mid-terms
• Opportunities to serve 

Points for Prayer:

• Pray that God will continue to open doors for teaching and for visas - these are areas that I cannot control whatsoever, but God can certainly make a way!
• Pray that Jordan will be able to relax during his weeks off, but that his mind will also be ready for the second-half of the term. 
• Pray that Jordan and I will be salt and light at EasterFest, serving in the Spirit to have eternal influence on those who we come in contact with at the festival

Thanks for all your support!

Happy Easter!